


voltron crack

by Metalotaku



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anthology, Comedy, Crack, Kesha - Freeform, Lady GaGa - Freeform, Music, Psychological Warfare, War History, collection, good ole fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 09:00:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15093500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Metalotaku/pseuds/Metalotaku
Summary: a collection of voltron crack i've posted to tumblr. feel free to use howeverchapter 1 Voltron paladins teach the Alteans about unique earth war strategies.chapter 2 space legolas





	1. Voltron paladins teach the Alteans about unique earth war strategies.

Voltron paladins teach the Alteans about unique earth war strategies.  
allura: i’m afraid i still don’t understand. humans fight wars with music?

shiro: sort of princess. it’s called psychological warfare on earth. and it’s just one of many tools that have been used in earth history.

pidge: the broadcast is working just fine. i’ve looped lance’s playlist into all the galra communication channels.

keith: cause nothing is more annoying than lance’s turn of the century pop music.

lance: hey! don’t dis the goddesses of music history!

hunk: don’t worry lance, maybe some will like it so much the galra will start a black market for kesha and beonce music. like the russians during the cold war. 

coran: you have a black market for music on your planet? 

matt: yes, and we should dig out some creative songs too. how about that frozen rip fuck it all, hell any of the undying disney songs.

pidge: oh lance’s anthem at the garrison.

lance: hey!


	2. space legolas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bi awakening. space legolas jokes

voltron crack can be prompt  
lance and matt chilling nearby lotor and allura on the bridge killing time, the pairs on the other side of the room from each other.

lance: do you think lotor would let me braid his hair?

matt: why are you asking me this? why do you want to?

lance: *shrugs* i don’t know. i just want to. like make him look more like space legolas with his hair done up like orlando bloom did in lord of the rings.

matt: *turns bright red and looks directly at lotor.* oh no. oh good no.

lance: what? you don’t think he’d pull it off?

matt: my poor bi awaking can’t be relived like that lance! i can’t get the hots for a guy i’m competing with to get the girl!

lance: wait orlando bloom was your bi awaking?

matt: no. orlando bloom as legolas was my bi awaking.

lance: … you have an elf fetish. got it. not judging. i found legolas attractive too. *turns to lotor* hey lotor let me style your hair!

matt: lance no! *pounces on lance clamping a hand on his mouth which lance licks and laughs*

pidge: *walks in stares at her brother and lance* ew please lance don’t flirt with my brother.

lance: *whips his head around* i’m not! i’m trying to make lotor up to look like space legolas and your brother is loosing his mind.

matt: stop saying that! *flushes more just thinking about it.* 

pidge: *nods* strategic move lance. get both of your competition to fall for each other leaving the target of your interest open. it’s under handed. i approve. 

allura: you approve of what pidge?

lotor: what is a space legolas?


End file.
